My mother is negative.
She always found little ways to tear me down. If I had good news, or was happy about something, she would always seem dubious about it's authenticity, or indicated in some way that it wouldn't last. She rarely had a kind word to say about anybody, yet was always worried about their opinion of her. She wasn't a mean person by any means. She seemed to have trouble in seeing the positive about anyone or anything. It was hard growing up with a parent like that. My father was the epitome of neutral, and rarely gave his opinion on anything. I grew up with what seemed like a black cloud over my head. Once I moved out of my parents' house, I began to see the truth.
My first real love (Millie) was also negative.
When things were going good for us, and we were getting along, she would get afraid of being too close. She would purposely mess up our relationship. She was afraid I would hurt her, although I never did. She stood me up more times than I could count, and it was a toss-up if she would call when she said she would. At one point, we stayed overnight at a motel, to get one night of togetherness. (We both lived with our parents at the time, and hers did their best to keep a close eye on her. No, we were both in our early 20's.) She ended up abandoning me there. When I was asleep, she snuck out. Upon hearing the door close, I woke up. I ran after her car with no shoes on, begging her not to leave. I ended up stepping in glass, cutting my feet. I then realized that I had left the keys in the motel room! Oh, fun. I tried and tried with her, trying to make it work, because I really loved her. In hindsight, I may have been too forgiving. She found me years after we broke up (she just disappeared on me for a month), and apologized for the way she had treated me. She was so afraid that I would hurt her in some way, but the only hurtful one in the relationship was her.
I had a coworker who was negative.
This lady was perpetually unhappy. She had been fired from so many employers in our field, but for some reason, my employer hired her anyway. She tried to tear me down for eight long years. They eventually made me the shift supervisor, to her endless chagrin. She tried to get me in trouble, tried to get me to quit, and tried to get other coworkers against me. I wasn't the only one she had a problem with, oh no. But I did seem to be her main target, since I was in charge of her, yet she was better at her job than I was (coughnotreallycough), and she had seniority (technically true, but it meant very little in her case). There was one point where she was criticizing, no... insulting her husband, calling him a dirtbag or a scumbag, and that he only cared about himself. He had gone into a diabetic coma and was in the hospital. He died right around the time she was saying these things about him. She broke down crying, saying, "And I said all those things to him, and about him, and then he died!" I thought maybe that would've changed her attitude right then and there. Poor guy. A few days later, she was back to her usual tirades and schemes.
And then I ended up marrying someone who was (is) very negative.
At first, she didn't seem that way (and neither did Millie, now that I think of it). She just seemed... damaged. And by golly, it was me who was going to fix her and make her happy again! Yeah, right. She would actually say that hate causes CANCER. That's right, not that hate *is* a cancer, but it'll make you get cancer. Yet, let's see... she hates me, she hates Nikki, she hates my mother, she hates my brother and sister, she hates anyone LGBT, and she hates anyone who is not a Christian. That's just for starters. When she's upset, she tries to upset others. "Misery loves company" should be her motto. She won't let my daughter talk to me. It's been three years since I've heard her voice.
And now...?
Today, I am mostly free from negative people and situations. Not all of us are so lucky. Keep in mind that by no means is everything butterflies and daffodils. Life is life. To even talk about the people above, can be considered a negative thing in itself.
But to ruled over by sadness, anger, or depression, is just harmful to the soul, the body, everything.
Notice that I did say "mostly." There is someone who is having a negative impact on us and our family. I harbor no ill will towards this person, but I wish and pray to the God and Goddess that this person would just stop. I believe this friend is mostly a positive person, and I don't think they realize what a negative impact they're having on this household.
Largely because of this person, Nikki and I argue. Yes, sometimes it's in front of the kids, or they overhear it. That makes me sad, but I will admit I act in a brash manner when I get upset, and then I regret it later. Yes, we have our problems, and no, it is not only because of this friend. But they exacerbate the problems, and rub salt in the wounds.
Let us work it out. Let us be in harmony, love, and peace again. I know you're mad at me, but let it be. Be a friend without causing all this chaos. You think you're being positive, but the end result of your actions is:
Negativity.
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