Novos Fimes do Cine HD

Long time no updated!

[ Watching the World Series SF GIANTS!! ]

hello everyone,
how are ya'll doin? it has definitely been a while and may i say a SHIT LOAD has been goin on with me. i've been on the low taking care of shit in my own life. if you guys don't know off of my TWITTER yet, well; me & thee bf Juliano are going to have a baby girl! And we had already came up with the name Illiana Eva Gomez, its pronounced "ill-lee-ahna". so pleeeease don't butcher her name guys! lol. but n e hu, it was definitely a surprise to the both of us and everyone else in our life. lol. but it's a GOOD SURPRISE and we are very happy blessed to have such a great surprise in our lives. i am currently at 28 weeks and in the photo i posted for ya'll as well.
Which mean i am due in approximately 2 months!! isn't that insane?!?! the hospital estimated my due date will be around January 18th, 2011. Both our families are very excited and happy for us! besides the whole baby business and adjusting shit around to prepare for the baby. I had recently moved in with Juls and his family at his place, it is traditional for Chinese that the FEMALE goes with the MALE; plus juls parents always really wanted me to move in with them as well. so that had took A LOT of my time moving stuff out of my place and unpacking it here at my new 'home' now :) organizing everything. to add on even more good news me and Juls purchased our FIRST car together (financing), it is our family car for our incoming baby girl. It is a 2010 Acura RDX AWD Turbo'd :D so i'm going from a TYPE-S to a Turbo'd mommy! you can say everything is happening at WARP SPEED, but me & Juls has been through thick and thin; and this is something we are gladly take into our arms and make the best of it! knowing its going to CHANGE OUR LIVES big time. so please bare with me if i'm MIA off the net guys! i will try to come on when i can to update and do some tutorials, but i can't promise anything. mannn... i don't think i ever heard of a CHINESE MIXED WITH GUATEMALAN girl before, im EXCITED!!! hahaha... but for now i will leave ya'll with this long needed update. don't worry! i'm still around snooping, just not so much posting! lol. i love you guys! have a great weekend! and LETS GOOOOO SF GIANTS!!!! World Series, we can take it home!!!!!!!!!!

- EVA
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Assorted Stuff

I've been quiet for a week or so. Some things have happened over that time, enough to make a blog entry about it. Seems simple enough, huh?

First of all, I was contacted by CSN Stores, as they are doing a promotional giveaway. They are in the habit of giving things away to certain bloggers in exchange for a review on their site, and perhaps on the blog itself. One might think it's too good to be true, but I personally know one blogger who has gotten free things from them at least twice!

As for what they sell, it could be anything from a pair of fuzzy slippers, to a cute pair of heels, to a nifty drop leaf table. Anyway, I have $65 worth of credit on their site, so we'll see what thing(s) I can purchase!


In other news, I may have met my first stalker here in Tucson. I certainly hope not, but wow did I have a few incidents in Michigan with stalkers! I was pulling the wagon to pick up Skylar and Savannah at Savannah's school (the bus drops Skylar off there rather than at our home, since there is the little matter of me not being able to be in two places at once), and I saw a tan SUV or van drive past me and honk. I know the signs, and as a born paranoid, I always have a good eye for people "homing in" on me. Nevertheless, I continued pulling my wagon down the sidewalk as usual. The van turned around (it's a divided road), and a man inside waved at me as he passed again. I just looked at him and kept walking. But I knew he'd soon be back on my side and pulling over near me, to try to talk to me. Yup.

He pulled into a parking lot I was then approaching (bad timing on my part), and stopped a few yards past me. I saw an older man (sixties, at least) looking through a book of some kind. He looked to be of latin descent, so I thought at first it was his Spanish to English dictionary. No, he was getting a business card. He said, "I'm a handyman. Are you picking up your kids?" I nodded and he then gave me his card. I told him, "I don't need any work done." Then he was asking me out for a cup of coffee. I told him that I have someone, and he said it would just be as friends. He seemed nice and not at all creepy (though he probably is!), so I felt like I shouldn't be rude to him or anything. I told him something like, "I can't, I have to go get my kids." So he told me to call him whenever I was free. I continued on my way and threw the card in the nearest trashcan. In retrospect, maybe I should've kept it, just in case I need to report any future stalking behavior. I made sure he didn't follow me to the school, or back home. And now I keep an eye out for a tan SUV.



It's weird, I thought I had been looking pretty good over the last few days, but I can't put a finger on what looks better. I haven't lost any weight, but my waist dips in kinda nice right now. Maybe the extra pounds are from some definition. That's what Nikki said. Muscle weighs more than fat. So unless this was a coincidence, I guess I can consider this proof. Someone else was honking and waving at me the other day as well. They did the turn around trick also, but didn't pull over to me... thank goodness!

What else? Oh yeah! In a previous post, I wrote about one of our rats having babies. There was eight of them. As soon as we found out, Nikki separated the female from the male rat. I guess we were too late. A few days ago, she had more! Thirteen more! Ahhhhh! What to do with all these rats? We don't really trust people, especially kids, to take care of them. I think they may be safer if just let free. Rats are such hardy creatures, after all.



I've been feeling a tad weak and vulnerable lately. I think I need to be in therapy again. I've been holding off since none of the GID specialized therapists here take my insurance. I guess I'll have to go for a "regular" therapist like I did in Michigan. Oh well. It's better than nothing at all, I suppose. I just wonder how I'll fit therapy sessions into this busy schedule of mine.

Oh, one last thing. I came across this image on my travels amongst the interwebs. I wonder how many women have more than one vagina? Here I am, just struggling to get one of them!

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Letter From Mom

For those who don't know, my mother still doesn't accept the fact that I'm a transsexual. It's been over seven years now, and she seems no closer to coming around than she did then. She still calls me by my old male name, though she knows it was changed a few years back. She refuses to even write the name in correspondence.

Below is a letter that I received late last week. I'm going to write it here, then write my reply, and type it in here too. A lot of the things she states she heard is just untrue. Someone is exaggerating. Anyway, here's her letter to me.


X (male name deleted),

Last week, Dad took Grandma back to Nebraska to see her sister and nieces. He had a good time until his cousins and aunt confronted him about your letters to them. Supposedly, you told them that we had thrown you out and disowned you. I guess you had a few especially nasty things to say about me. I really didn't think it was possible to break my heart anymore than it is. This is your decision to pursue this kind of life. Life is so hard already, and you're only making it harder on yourself. You can't deny that you're making yourself unhireable. An employer has more than enough issues with employees without taking on the burden of hiring a transvestite.

You are so positive that you're doing the right thing, but I really worry about what will become of you. We won't be around forever, and Dan and Laura are really not inclined to help support you. They have their own families and problems. You have taken their brother away, as you have taken my son away. This is your own choice, you don't ask your 93 year old grandmother to finance a sex change. Even if she could, she wouldn't do it. It goes against everything she has lived her life believing.

Please stop sending pictures and trying to force a relationship with these people. They are embarrassed and feel badly for us. I don't know how to make you see this. They are all parents and know how we must feel. All parents want their children to be happy, but your lifestyle is just really hard to get past. Each person's sexuality is a very private thing, and really should be of no interest to others. You're trying to force people into acceptance but that can't work. They don't wish you ill, but at the same time they don't want or have an interest in this. I know I can't make you see the effect you're having, because this is the life you've chosen for yourself, and you've convinced yourself it's right. But this is your own life, and these decisions are yours. You can't change how people think.

I can only hope that you can find people that feel the same way that you do, so you're not alone. You have to have something of your own to fit your life. We can't fit because this is just too much to get past. Because you are our son, it's really so very very hard. It is the heart break of our lives, because we literally don't know how you'll end up, and how you'll support yourself. I have a hard time seeing a good future, you have no job, no insurance, no prospects, no retirement, and no savings. You can't live in a bubble, you have to fit in the world as it exists and not how you want it to be. I don't know how to make you see what's right there. This is your life right now, there is no second chance. You only get to do it once, and when you look back, it's really such a short time. I don't know if I've given you anything to think about, but I'll never stop hoping that I have.

Ma

*sigh*

Dear Mom,

I was very surprised at what you told me in the beginning of your letter. I have never said you kicked me out or disowned me. You took me in for several months when Vanessa was about to sell her house, and after Nikki and the kids went into the safe house. I had no money, and you and Dad took me in and fed me, rent free. Then I chose to move to Michigan with Nikki and the kids. These people (who I don't know and have never talked to) misunderstood, or were exaggerating. The only people I've conversed with on Dad's side of the family, are Grandma, Candice (though not for many months), and Deanna (once, about a year ago). All I told them is that you don't accept or understand why I made the change that I did. I don't know Dad's cousins, and unless it's Aunt Edna, I don't know the aunt of his that you mentioned either. I'm very sorry that they upset you and Dad, but I never told anybody what they claim.

The work situation is an issue that I've been struggling with for years. Yes, there is a stigma attached to being a transsexual, and it's something I have to deal with. Like you said, I didn't make this world, and I have to deal with it and get by as best as I can. Also, I am not a transvestite. A transvestite is someone who dresses in clothing of the opposite sex, and acts in that role, and they later return to their lives and act as their born gender. They typically don't change their name or consider surgery. Transsexuals (note that I have mixed feelings on this term, as many focus on the last three syllables and see it to be a 'sexual' thing) usually take hormones, change their name, and some seek surgery.

Please believe me when I tell you that I have never asked Grandma for money for gender reassignment surgery. I did mention that I wanted it, but had no money, and that was that. Also, please realize that Grandma does accept what I'm doing and who I am. No, I don't think she is any better than you are in any way. I don't know how or why she can accept when others can't. Everyone's different, I suppose.

Yes, I'm no longer representative of any form of son or brother. I can't imagine what such a loss must feel like. I won't apologize for being who I am, but I am sorry for your pain, as well as for the rest of the family. To grieve is natural. I have changed in so many ways. My friend Chris took it hard for many years. Yet, Steve and Daria got through it after a brief adjustment period. Everyone is different, and everyone feels things differently.

As far as sexuality being a private thing, this doesn't apply here (apart from me and Nikki's relationship). This is about gender. I am living the life of a different gender than I used to. The way I feel inside never matched the way I look on the outside. I've felt this way for as far back as I can remember. I was always afraid to say so. Afraid of being ridiculed by other kids, afraid of being punished as a child for acting in a way I shouldn't. Gender is a very public thing. There are males and there are females. They are (usually) very easy to tell apart. I was not happy living in the male gender role. I always felt different inside. I went in and out of depression since high school, until my separation with Christina. It took me so long to put two and two together, and to see that transsexuals are not freakish people. They are not like Rupaul, or like that character on The Rocky Horror Picture Show. They live day to day lives, and you've probably seen some of them and never thought a thing about them. The same way that people may look my way on the street when I'm walking the kids to school, or in a store shopping, and then look away. I've always been rather slim and short, and never had rugged facial features. That really helps me now. I would really love to have a job. Things go fine until they do a background check. Someday, I'll find a more open-minded employer.

I do have insurance at this point, though it's from the state. When Nikki and I finally get married, I could be on her insurance. She's very close to having a regular teaching position, since they're going to be firing the teacher in her classroom. They want Nikki to teach the class. So she'll soon be making a lot more money. As for me, I've been writing a lot lately, and I want to see if I can get a novel published. I've also considered starting my own business, fixing computers and such.

I do have quite a few good friends here. Some are transsexual, but many aren't. I know three mothers of transsexual children. Rachel and Josie are both nine years old, and Emerson is twelve. Josie is home-schooled, since their local school has a problem with her attending class as a girl, but the other two are able to go to school. They have all been saying they're a girl (and Emerson insisting he's a boy) since they could speak. This was unheard of ten years ago, but kids like this were always around. The world is slowly changing. When I was younger, there was barely any media coverage on transsexuality. Now there are specials on The Discovery Channel, and The Learning Channel, as well as episodes of The Tyra Banks Show and others. Many people will never accept or understand, but many others do. There are many crusaders (trans or not) of the rights of transsexuals. I don't wish to be one of them, though I applaud their efforts. I merely wish to live my life as the gender I feel inside. The ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) in Tucson prohibits employers from discriminating on the basis of gender identity. Previously, it only included race, ethnicity, religion, et al. (Though many employers can find another "reason" for firing (or not hiring) anyway.) Things change, albeit slowly.

As far as choice, I didn't choose this. Other than a choice to be happy or not, there is no choice. This is who I am inside. I can be me, or live a lie. I can live as a woman, or fight depression and anxiety for the rest of my life. Besides being without a job, I am happy. I love Nikki, I love our family, and I love my home and my friends. I'm so much more in touch with my feelings than I was before. Grandma said when she saw me a year ago, that she had never seen me talk so much or seem so happy. I am, very much so. I'm comfortable and at ease with myself. I'm living my life authentically. Like you said, there's no second chance in life. If I tried to be who everyone wants me to be, I would only live my life with regret and sadness.

I truly love you and Dad, my brother and sister, and grandparents, aunts and uncles. I can feel that so much more. And I feel so sad that so many of you cannot accept who I am. But just as I have no choice but to be who I am, you (all of you) have no choice but to feel the way you feel about it. Maybe someday, you'll see that I'm still here. I have the same interests, the same values, and the same wacky sense of humor. My gender is all that's changed. But yes, that is an awfully big change. I wish I could put an end to my family's pain, disappointment, and heartbreak. The only way for me to that would be to return to living a lie, the act that I had to play for so many years... and that would be so unhealthy for me. 'Devastating' would not even be a fitting word.

I love you, Ma. I love you all.

Love,

Amy
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Pineapple Cactus Fruit

There's a native cactus here in Arizona, and the majority of these plants are found right here in Pima County. It's called a Pineapple Cactus because the fruits look like tiny pineapples. Cute, huh? They usually come out with flowers and then they have this fruit... or is it the fruit first and then the flowers?

Anyway, I haven't been able to find that much info at all on these little pineapples. The website linked above did say that the fruits were sweet. Hmmm, good to eat? I did some further research and found that all cactus fruits are good to eat! Check it out here.

Since the fruit on these particular cacti has no spines (unlike the prickly pear, which is covered with needles), and the fruit is supposed to be sweet, I decided to give it a try.

First, wash the fruit.

Cut off the top and split the rest down the middle. Discard seeds. Now to give this sweet fruit a try!

Blechhh!


This tastes like a cross between an onion and a bell pepper, neither of which I like very much. I did throw throw the rest of my gathered fruit out the car window as I drove, since their population could stand to be a bit larger. No wonder there's no mention of this fruit on the internet!


I'm fine with leaving these fruits where they are from now on!
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More Baby Animals!

Nikki loves rats. We had three of them, and well... they died, one by one. The one white rat was the first to go. After she died, Nikki got a male white rat. He failed in his attempts to impregnate the two remaining rats. After they died, Nikki got a white female rat, not long after our arrival here in Tucson.

She heard as lot of squeaking coming from the cage one morning. She looked and saw these little guys (though this picture was taken a few days later):

There are eight in all. Their eyes and ears won't open until they're about two weeks old. I think we have less than a week to go then. So until then, they're deaf and blind! Once their eyes open, they're very curious and explore nonstop.

I was holding one of them just last night, and petting it (wow, might be the softest thing I've ever touched!), and it fell asleep. How would I know, since it's eyes were closed? It got very still in my hand while I was looking up some information on baby rats. Then I started petting it again and it jumped! Oops, back to sleep, lil' guy (or girl?).

What we're wondering is this. If the father looks like this:

And the mother looks like this:


Why do the babies all look like this?

So does anyone want a baby rat? And no, we will not mail it!  ;)

"Hmmm, nice 'Texas Chainsaw' collection..."
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MY VERSION of Frankenstein's Wife

[ The Hit Crew - Monster Mash ]

Hello hello!
its that month again! OCTOBER!! my favoriiiiiiite! why? HALLOWEEEEN of course!! i love everything about it, besides the fact that its scary? am i weird for that? lol. i like more of the cuter side of halloween decors and all the costumes/makeup. i love it. so i had decided to do a Halloween Series since last year i didn't do it ): but its 2010! gotta live it up yo. So if you follow me on Youtube, this is my SECOND halloween series look; thee boyfriend suggested Frankenstein. so what i did was i combined both Franky himself and Frankenstein's wife! this is MY VERSION of Frankenstein's Wife.
Products used:

Eyes_
Urban Decay - Primer Potion
Beauties Factory - 120 Palette
Nyx E/L - Black
Nyx Jep - Milk
Loveme Makeup - Mermaid Fin Glitter Pigment
Mac - Fix+
Incolor - Fabu Liquid Liner
Mac - Feline Kohl

Face_
Hard Candy - Sheer Envy Light Primer
Jordana E/L - White
Nyx - White

Cheeks_
Mac - Feeling

Lips_
Mac L/L - Chestnut
Nyx - Hestia
Mac Fafi L/G - Totally it

have fun with yo makeup! it don't have to be exact, its 2010 for pete sake! turn shit around, turn it UP! upgrade mang.

i have provided the live tutorial and here are some photos of my result. feel free to leave me suggestions for halloween looks! and i might just do them! hehe. i don't have any face gear, as in face paint and alluh that shit; so bare with me. and spare me on anything TOO crazy that needs face paint! alrighty. until next time. hope everyone make the best out of their week! MONDAY is officially over, it should be easy from here on for the rest of the week! *deuce deuce*

- LOVEVA
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Meet Fizban, My Green Iguana!

 A long time ago (i.e. the mid-90's), I had a green iguana named Merlin. After spending $450 to get a bladder stone removed (only a few months after I got him), he mysteriously died about two years later. I was heart broken. I always thought of getting another iguana, but I didn't want it to die as well.

Fast forward to today. My sweetie bought me a new one! In keeping with tradition, I named him after a wizard as well. Fizban is a character from the Dragonlance series of books. That Fizban is ancient beyond anyone's knowledge, but my Fizban is about two and a half months old. He's still quite nervous when I pick him up, but he no longer tries to get away unless someone else comes near or makes a sudden or loud noise (sigh... kids). He's adorable! He eats out of my hand and is always on the go when I take him out of his tank. He's growing quick! Every day he looks bigger, or I see more of those cool spikes where I hadn't seen them before.

When doing some research, I found out quite a few new things compared to what I had known in the mid-90's. I also found out why Merlin died. In addition to a basking lamp (which provides standard UVA rays like any common light bulb), iguanas need a bulb that emits UVB rays. These are both produced by the sun, and iguanas need both. UVB allows them to utilize the calcium in their diet. Without these rays, the calcium can build up into... drumroll now... calcium deposits within the body, such as bladder stones. When an iguana doesn't get enough calcium (or be able to use it), it gets... metabolic bone disease (MBD for short). I always noticed that Merlin's legs were held at an odd angle, and it had some toes that were just bent around the wrong way. Also, he didn't grow. After two years, I should've needed two hands to hold him, but he was barely bigger than Fizban is now in these pictures. Unfortunately, they didn't know that much about UVB at the time. I had a couple books on green iguanas, but they made no mention of it.

What does Fizban eat? What's best for him is certain leafy greens, such as collard greens, mustard greens, dandelion greens... as well as green beans, prickly pear cactus leaves, parsnips, snap peas, alfalfa, and different kinds of squash. He can also eat fruit. The vegetables are best, but he loves watermelon and mango! He eats those two fruits ravenously. It's pretty funny to watch.

I have him in a little tank right now (29 gallon) until the 55 gallon ones go on sale at Petco (for a dollar a gallon!). In no time at all, though, no conventional tank will be big enough for Fizban. See what he'll look like in three to five years:

Yes, they can grow from five to six feet long! Where to keep such a beast? Why, right here, in our mini-backyard of sorts:

Without the bike, of course! With the exception of the low fence dead ahead, it's pretty well enclosed. Fizban can roam loose in this area, but we need to make sure he stays in, and something like a bobcat stays out! We're going to buy some coated chain link fencing to go over those areas (hope the neighbors don't complain!).  Fence or mesh is good, to let in some natural sunlight (though that only happens in the morning), and it should be coated so he can't scratch himself on the fence if climbing or rubbing his nose on it. We'd remove the rocks, as he can scrape his belly on those sharp things. I want to borrow some large rocks and branches from Mother Nature for him to climb on. We'll still need a basking light and a UVB lamp out there, since the sun won't shine into the yard nearly enough for him.

The only thing is, once it starts getting under seventy degrees at night, we'll have to find alternate accommodations for him - probably in our room. This awesome iguana owner (female, natch) has a series of racks nailed into the wall at high levels. She has the lights hanging up there, and it's food bowls and such on the racks. The racks went all around the room, in a spiral fashion. Pretty cool idea!

Oh, one last thing: I know I've been calling Fizban a 'he,' and he's (did it again!) named after a male wizard. Well, it's impossible to tell what sex they are until they reach sexual maturity - about one a half years old. I call him... well, him, both because I don't want to be calling my adorable little lizard an 'it,' and because I thought Merlin was male. The man at the pet store told me he was a boy when I bought him - at 2 or 3 months old. Amateur. So I was used to calling him 'Merlin Boy,' 'Green Boy,' and such. It just comes natural now. Female iguanas are usually blessed with a calmer temperament (though both are easy-going if you train them right), but they tend to have health issues due to their egg-laying. Constipation, loss of protein, and other problems may occur. One can get them spayed at a veterinarian that knows what they're doing with reptiles.

Comments? Questions? Fire away! If you want to seek answers for yourself, try this website. There's a ton of iguana info here: http://www.greenigsociety.com

Fizban is awesome. I love my little one!

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