Crowning Beauty

I needed a haircut so bad... and wow, did it show. Last Friday, I went to a local salon chain and got my hair cut and styled by Sophie. I tell you, this lady does such an awesome job. It's a special treat to have her work her magic on me. I don't think I've ever been more happy with my hair. I walked in with flyaways, split ends and frizzies, and walked out with it looking like you see on the left. Now that's my default pic on Facebook. I really love this picture, and that's rare coming from me. I'm so picky with photos of myself, but every once in awhile, something clicks. I swear, I am not an autogynephiliac (meaning, I am not sexually attracted to the image of myself as a woman), but now I tend to gawk at this photo of me when I see it on Facebook. Why?

Picture this, if you will. A girl growing up into adulthood, never being allowed to have long hair, never being able to dress as other girls do, and never being allowed to wear makeup of any kind. On top of that, developing a dark shadow on her chin and upper lip, growing body hair, and being all sweaty and greasy the day after a shower. That girl is in there, but she's buried beneath a ton of crap that just isn't her. Body image, self image... shot to hell.

One day, she begins a journey to climb out of all this stinking filth that has buried her for so long. Changing her body to what it should have been in the first place, or damn near close to it. Changing her mind to a certain extent, as far as lifting the red haze of testosterone, and finally being able to say to herself:

"I'm a woman. I can wear women's clothes and makeup. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm not a homosexual man and I don't have a fetish. I'm just female and that's me."

So now I look at this photo, and not only do I look good... damn good, if I say so myself... and I can say that without being conceited... but I'm happy. After almost four decades of living on this horrible planet, I can see me.

Some people may question why I like to take photos of myself and look at them. Because I can see me. And I like what I see.

And damn, I love my hair! When I was a kid, I used to sneak and watch Little House on the Prairie when nobody was around (and make fun of it when anyone was present!), and for some reason, I have always remembered this quote:

"Hair is a woman's crowning beauty." -- Michael Landon

Amen.