In July of 2002, my wife and I separated. No, it had nothing to do with me being a transsexual or anything like that. It was more along the lines of her marrying too young and wanting a social life, which included dating. In any case, she wanted me out, and after endless fighting for about six months, I bent to her will and moved back in with my parents. It was supposed to be temporary until we figured things out. She changed the locks.
We had a daughter together named Brittany. She was a year and a half old at the point of our separation. I saw her most every weekend.
The next month, I was hospitalized for a kidney stone and colitis (double trouble!). I was told that the colitis was most likely brought on by stress. No surprise, since I had gone through a rather heady depression for a month straight following the separation. I was in the hospital for four days, had a colonoscopy perfomed on me, and a stent inserted between my kidney and bladder, as the stone was blocking the passage between the two.
At this point, I had no idea what a transsexual was, much less the fact that I was one. I was familiar with crossdressers however, and tried to fit in with that crowd. It worked for awhile, until I seemed to "outgrow" them. Around January of 2003 is when the realization happened. After doing some research and talking to others, I found that most transsexuals really aren't those people that I had seen on the Jerry Springer Show. They were people like me.
I mention "duplex mode" in these posts. This is a phrase I made up to signify presenting myself with aspects of both sexes. Usually, this means I'm wearing a women's top and/or bottom, and just lipstick and blush. I had a shadow at the time, sometimes a wig and sometimes just showing my own short hair, so... ummm yeah, I'm glad I have no photos of me like this. In retrospect, I don't think I looked too good. But then, that's how I chose to express myself at the time. It's interesting to see where my thoughts and attitude were. It seems like another life to me now.
These posts span from November 27th, 2002 to March 28th, 2003. A lot happened during this time, though this first post is nothing big. I've included a few photos of me (with a wig) that were taken a month prior, by Karen of FemmeFever.
November 27th, 2002
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Today I went to the gastroenterologist in duplex mode. He had to perform a sigmoidoscopy, which is where they stick this tube all the way into your lower intestine through your rectum. (Oh yay!) I had gone to the office previously with makeup, women's clothes and even my wig on, so today I did the same. (He had commented on the fact that my hair was a lot shorter when I was staying the hospital last August. I admitted to him that it was a wig, and he didn't seem fazed.)
They puffed air into my rectum to enlarge the intestine, and I could barely feel them put that thing in. After a minute or two though, I started feeling intense pain in my abdomen. I'm a total baby, so I had yelled "owwww" quite a bit before they were done.
I was given a clean bill of health. I was starving, so I went to McDonald's on the way home. I had to finish eating really quick because suddenly, all that air wanted to come out. I ran into the men's bathroom (not the women's, since I was only in duplex mode), and I let out one of the loudest, most violent farts ever. Was I glad nobody else was in there. It was definitely not the norm for me!
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