Oh No, My Keys!

I was going to the store the other night, and I grabbed a bag full of garbage on the way. I usually end up holding my keys in my hand if I'm wearing a skirt or some kind of shorts with no pockets. After all, I was locking the front door and then heading to the dumpster, which is right by the car. So I had my pocketbook over my left shoulder, my phone in my left hand, and the trash bag in my right hand... and the keys too. Well, it must have been, for when I threw the garbage bag in the dumpster, I heard a slight jingling sound, and now my right hand was completely empty. Aaaaaaghhhh!

I ran back to the house, and decided to go to the back sliding door, which goes to our bedroom. I figured that Nikki wouldn't hear me knocking at the (locked!) front door, since she was watching TV. I scared the hell out of her, because she didn't know who would be banging on the sliding door (or why!).

"Baby, I have some bad news. I dropped the keys in the dumpster."

"Oh no!"

"Oh, yes. Could you please help me?"

Unfortunately, we didn't have a working flashlight, so we grabbed a candle and a box of matches. We walked to the dumpster and peered in, ineffectual candle at hand. I couldn't see a thing. I had to get in there. But noooo, I didn't want to go in there! The keys were all ones that we could get more copies of, except for the car keys. They're the kind that has this computer chip in it, and that cost us $40 to get a copy to begin with! Without that, I'd always have to borrow Nikki's keys and such. What a hassle. So in I went. I'm pretty agile, so I got in there with no problem. Oh, here's a picture of the dumpster, during the day... when you can see what's in it!:

Ugh. I would NOT touch anything with my hands. I started moving bags around with my feet. I couldn't see crap with only the candle for light. Nikki lit a stick (!) and held it just inside the dumpster, but it kept going out. I was nervous that there might be gas or alcohol fumes in the dumpster that would ignite. Then some nice man came up with a big flashlight and shined it in the dumpster for me. How embarrassing. I still didn't see the keys.

With a resigned sigh, I thanked the man and climbed out of there. Once back home, I threw my sneakers in the washer, changed my clothes, and washed my hands and arms real good. I grabbed Nikki's keys and started to head back out to the store. I reached in the side pocket of my pocketbook to get my phone, and guess what was in there?

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!