Well, I brought you up to date on my life so far, in the last entry. I did leave out something for another entry. Despite all the stress, arguments, etc., Nikki and I can still have a lot of fun. And Nikki is extra-fun when she gets tired! If we go out in public somewhere (like Wal-Mart in this instance), then hilarity often ensues.Read on...
Some female in another aisle yelled to someone else (rather loudly), "I love you!" Nikki yelled back, "I love you too!" This is when I usually try to hide. I said, "Oh my God, hun!" Nikki copied what I said, word for word. A man was in the aisle with us, and then he said, in a voice that couldn't have been his real voice... maybe a cross between Yoda and Arnold Shwartzenegger, "Oh my God." We laughed and skedaddled out of there.
Then Nikki was trying to decide between buying canned white corn, or yellow corn. With her head cocked to one side, she said to a woman passing by (and this was not said seriously), "What about you, do you like white corn or yellow corn?" The lady responded most earnestly, "Oh, yellow corn. Most definitely, I love yellow corn." So I'm pretending to clear my throat to cover the laughter now. Nikki had to switch gears and talk seriously, and tell the lady thank you. It's not that she likes to start trouble with people, it's just that when she's really tired, words come out of her without her brain having any say-so.
Okay, I have another. I was determined to get Canada Dry ginger ale. I've been craving the stuff lately (that and the 7-11 chips with chili and cheese... I know, bad Amy). They didn't have Shweppes, and Vernor's is nasty, I don't care what anyone says. I see two bottles on the very top shelf, all the way in the back. Even if I could climb that, I couldn't reach into those little ramps. There was one bottle in two different ramps, and that was all Diet Canada Dry. Yechhh! These ramps are tilted so that when you take the bottle in front, the rest are supposed to slide down. Well, these two rebel bottles didn't slide. I tried to see if I could push them forward from the next aisle, but then I couldn't tell which bottle was which. I could only see the caps, and I couldn't reach them anyway. So I decided to go back to the bottles and try to scale the shelf. I wanted my Canada Dry! Nikki tried to hoist me up, and well, she succeeded, but she goosed me as well! One hand was almost in my crack (imagine if I was wearing a skirt or something?), and the rest unintentionally groped my ummm... goods. So we proceeded to broadcast all this to the entire aisle, which was quite packed. She gave me a broom to wack the bottles into falling forward, while holding onto the shelf (Nikki's hand now removed from the between-the-legs areas), and I was able to grab them. Time to hightail it out of there again.
In general, people stare us down if we walk around holding hands or with my arm over Nikki's shoulders, etc. This is to a much greater degree than in New York. People are so rude here. The men just gawk like some monkey, and the women try to look without actually looking. It's actually quite funny, when it's not downright annoying. Nikki has a habit of saying hello to these people when this happens. On this particular visit, she said to this one bald dude, "Hey, how are ya doing?" He looked quite alarmed, then looked away and started walking away from us faster than he had been. It was hilarious!
So I hope some of this amused some of you. It may be a "you had to be there" kind of funny, but hopefully I gave someone a chuckle. Thanks for reading!
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