Thankful

I feel that I too often write blogs complaining about this or that. I want a job, I need GRS, I want my boobs to be bigger, I want to lose weight, etc. etc. To some extent, this is natural. If we, as a human race, never wanted more than we had, we would've never climbed up the evolutionary ladder. We'd still be thinking of how great it was to discover fire, and the wheel.

But I never want anyone to think I'm not thankful for what I have.

Since breaking into Blogspot/Blogger last month, I've been reading a lot of blogs. My heart cries out to those people who are about to become homeless, have problems with their health, or are in relationships where they are just not loved for who they are. My heart cries out, and I am reminded of how much I have.

Six years ago, I was running around, getting changed at a friends' house to go out. Sometimes there was nobody available, and I would have to change in a gas station bathroom, or worse, my car... in the dark. Hiding and sneaking around like this, just to be me, really took an emotional toll on me. Now look at me. I can wear whatever I want, whenever I want. I am me, wholly me, full-time, no exceptions. This is a wonderful gift.

Six years ago, I was living with my parents. They are terribly old-fashioned and have a "zero tolerance" policy when it comes to me presenting as anything other than total male. I tried to show them the real me, to no avail. I wanted to educate them. I wanted them to come to therapy with me. They weren't interested.

Now I have a woman who loves me for me. Since day one, she has been behind me 110% and more. I have three loving kids who I adore, despite their being frustrating as hell sometimes. Understanding and love. These are wonderful gifts.

My body has responded very well to the hormones I have been taking since July of 2003. I'm very pleased with each and every change that has occurred. Previously, I remember shaving my chest and legs... shaving my face. I would struggle to get my skin as smooth as possible, only to have stubble return all over, on the same day. My body just fits me now. This is a wonderful gift.
A loving partner and a safe and loving home. Things that many people take for granted. I'm extremely lucky, especially for a transsexual woman. I could still be stuck in my parents' house, living a lie and seeing my life pass by. Being unfulfilled, unwanted.

So I just wanted to say how thankful I am.