Mosquitoes are out in droves! The kids have gotten bit up really bad, and I got bit four times just walking to my car. Damn things. I really think there aren't enough blood-filled creatures out there for all these mosquitoes (I don't see as many people outside once evening comes). So hopefully they'll die off soon. Okay, as I'm writing this, Nikki just killed four of them, and I swatted one dead right in front of my face. Ugh!
Anyway, I just realized something about myself. I'm a loner who gets lonely with nobody around. Makes no sense? Let me describe it this way. I grew up doing my own thing. I spent a lot of time with just me, myself, and I. But I liked it when people were in the house. If everyone went out without me, I got lonely. It was just too quiet. Fast forward to present day. About a year ago, Nicky and our two older kids had to leave for 10 days without Skylar and I. Evidently, a small child doesn't work in keeping me from being lonely. This can extend to virtual gaming worlds. A decade ago, I was immersed in (actually, more like obsessed with) the original Everquest MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, and yes, I know that by heart). I never liked grouping with others. This made gameplay difficult for me past the beginning levels, since the game was designed for grouping. I preferred to play solo... with other people around. I could help those in need, talk to whoever, and then go back to doing my own thing. I just liked the fact that there were other people playing nearby. If I was in an area with nobody around, I would go to where I saw people doing this and that, and I would play there. Ain't I strange?
I was typing my old diary entry about my first hair removal appointment, and strangely enough, I felt a bit of nostalgia when typing in what happened at the end. Sure, I missed Barbara, the nurse who ran the machine, and I missed the hairs going away. But how strange that I would miss hiding in my room. I think it was a few things. Number one, I was able to "get away" with having laser hair removal done, and then hide before everyone came home. Number two, in that tiny room, I had whatever I needed at the moment: tv, computer, food and drinks, bed and pillow. Number three, I knew that I probably wouldn't be bothered. People would be around, but not interacting with me.
Now I have a family and a wife-to-be. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Sure, sometimes I miss my "solitary with company" existence, but it's a small sacrifice to make, to be loved and accepted for who I am. The people who were around when I was hiding did not accept me, which is why I had to hide in the first place. They still don't accept me.
Another thing I tend to miss during the summer months is sleeping in my car. I used to work in an oil and gas terminal from 7 PM to 7 AM. After midnight, I would go out to my car, where my pillow and blanket were waiting. The higher-ups never came around, and three trucks in six or seven hours was a lot. Plus, the trucks were so loud that they woke me up when they were a quarter of a mile away. I sometimes miss laying back on my comfortable seat and pillow, feeling the cool summer air blow through the windows, dozing blissfully off to sleep... and getting paid for it.
I would love to do it again, but I have a soft bed and cuddly woman at home. Plus, outside there lurks...
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