Current Events

So what's new lately? I'll try to tackle the important stuff while also keeping this entry from becoming monstrous. Two years ago, I moved from New York to Michigan to be with the love of my life, Nikki. How that all happened is a story for another time, but we have been together for 2.5 years. We have been engaged since last Valentine's Day. Her three kids accept me as their "other mommy," for the most part. They are: Sarah, 10 years old; Savannah, 8 years old; and Skylar, 3 years old. Right now the older two are in New York visiting their father. We'll be going there ourselves at the end of the month, and coming back here with Sarah and Savannah after spending three days there. Oh fun, fun! Yes, they deserve to see their father and his family, but many of his family just don't approve of Nikki and I. You see, not only did it seem as if Nikki left him for me (it's just not that cut and dry), but they all know I'm transgendered. Another story for another time!

Since moving here, I have tried on and off to find work. The frustrating thing is that there are no computer-related jobs out here. There aren't many jobs here at all, but it's very rare that I will find an ad for any computer position. Too bad I have a loan for a Computer Tech course to pay off. During the "off" times, I have filled the role of "stay-at-home-mom" for our youngest one. It has it's rewards of course, but I really do want to get back to work. Nikki works as a substitute teacher, but we are scraping by. I had an interview last week for an alarm dispatcher position at an alarm company. The man who interviewed me seemed impressed with my background, but was confused by the fact that I had lived here two years with no job, and I still did not have a Michigan driver's license (getting there in a sec!). He is now not returning my calls, so I can only guess he has filled the position, and maybe found out or guessed at my background.

Yes, I had my name changed just before the move, but the records are not sealed. I would love to have the records sealed! Alas, I don't think it's an option. I also changed my driver's license and social security card right before leaving New York. Those are also stories I will get to at some point, but for now, I would like to convey my story of getting my Michigan license.

I tried getting my hands on that license some time ago. I went into the Michigan Secretary of State office (DMV doesn't handle that here, weird huh?) with all the required paperwork. I needed my NY license, my social security card, my birth certificate, and thus the court documents for my name change as well. Oh yes, and I also needed two (2) proofs of residency. I brought a bank statement and the lease for the apartment Nikki and I live in. I should have been golden, right? Wrong-o. I got an older lady who looks as if she's going to pass out, after getting over her initial confusion. Looking at the birth certificate, she said, "Oh, you've given me someone else's birth certificate. This can't be you." I was flattered, but showed her the name change order. "That was my old name, and I had it changed, as you can see here..." She looked at the documents, looked at me, then back at the documents, then declared, "I'll be back in just a moment."

I waited for quite a bit. Probably ten (10) minutes. She came back with someone else in tow. Oh no. Oh yes, the supervisor. I've learned the hard way that once the supervisor gets involved, it's all over. To her credit, she was very polite and respectful. "I'm sorry, we can put your current name on the license with no problem at all, but we can't put the "F" for "Female" without a certain form from your doctor, stating that you've had surgery."

Not just any surgery, mind you! And now it's a form, as I've since heard repeated at a local transgender support group that I went to the following week. Has anyone seen this form? It seems like some top secret document, to be seen by only doctors and DMV (or Secretary of State). Because you know us trans-folk, we can be devious when we have to be.

I went home in defeat without obtaining the license. I put the problem on the back burner, thinking I'll try a few other offices before giving up to the dreaded "M" for the time being. After my interview last week, I had to try again in order to qualify for the job. I went to another office, and got a friendlier and younger lady this time around. I gave her the birth certificate followed by the name change order. She didn't flinch. All the while, I had my hand hidden below the counter with my fingers crossed. She had me sign the signature that will be on the back of the license, and pose for a photo. She then showed me my temporary license and asked me to make sure everything is correct. I made sure the "F" was there first! Name, address... yup it's all good. "Your permanent license will arrive in the mail in seven to ten days." Done. Thank God. I was so worried about having an "M" on my license and hoping anyone needing to look at it won't notice that little detail. "They made a mistake and put the wrong letter on there! Can you believe that???" So yes, I am rather relieved, to say the least.

And that's all my news for now. I need to work. I need electrolysis on my neck (I've had 50 hours spent on my chin and upper lip, but my neck was barely touched). I need GRS. I want to get married to Nikki. I'll keep plugging away. Work or bust!