Diarrhea of the Mouth

I don't know what's up, but Nikki has been going crazy lately, saying very non sequitur type of things to people. People we don't even know. And since she's seen me getting rather embarrassed by such things, she's doing it even more.

It started in Wal-Mart. I suppose she was bored and tired. She congratulated a man on his way out, for his selection of Tide detergent. He said, "What?" She repeated it, and he looked exasperated. He said, "Whatever," and walked out. I was trying to get away at that point, but Nikki had my arm and wouldn't let go.

The other day, she made two ladies laugh at her. We were in the car at a stop light. I was caressing Nikki's cheek. I'm often affectionate like this with my sweetie. But there was a woman in the lane next to us, just dead-on staring. As comfortable as we are with each other, we forget that others may be set aback by seeing two women in love. I told her that a woman over there was looking at us. Nikki thought the window was closed. (That's her story anyway.) She looked at the woman and said, plain as day, "I'm her baby."

The woman laughed. It was a twittering kind of laugh. Naturally, we both just started laughing also. But we were stuck at the light, and the lady was still next to us. Nikki took a nearby sweatshirt and covered her head with it. Unfortunately for me, I was driving, so I couldn't do this. I just looked away and continued to laugh. Finally the light turned green and I could get out of there!

Later on, we were in a grocery store, and Nikki randomly blurted out, "People. I eat them." This older lady who was passing by started laughing her ass off. I ducked down a nearby aisle. I mean, really now. Nikki says she eats people.

Short of knocking her unconscious, what can I do about this? She's driving me nuts, ha ha!