This was such a big step for me. After coming out to my part-time job, I did the same with my full-time employer. The funny thing is, I was living male at my parents' house, and working as female. I had to go to a deserted parking lot every morning to get changed. I didn't want to go to work and then get changed. That would've been kind of odd. I would have to go to Michigan to have my cake and eat it too. That would be three months after this blog entry. Enjoy. :)Friday, May 11, 2007
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Current mood: content
Some of you may not know this, but I came out to my part-time job about a month ago! I apologize to those that haven't known. I know I've been out of touch with some of you. My life has been so crazy lately. A lot of good things are on the way though.
I wrote a letter for all employees. I had to make copies and stuff them into envelopes. Writing via email wouldn't have worked, since not everyone has a company email. I wanted to have them attached to people's paychecks (hey, everyone gets paid, right?), but human resources said that would be a bad idea. Since it was me who wrote this letter and not the company, it would be better if I distributed it myself.
The reponse from my fellow employees was very supportive. I'm very happy about it, and glad that I came out. I only know of one person who doesn't agree with what I'm doing, but she never liked me anyway, so who cares. :P
My username in the system has been changed to Amy, and so has my time card. I can go to work appearing the way I want to now, although my mother has forbade me to leave the house in anything remotely feminine. That makes things... ehhh, interesting. In short, I feel very fulfilled, happy, and I have a sense of wholeness also. It's so wonderful to just be me!
Anyway, here's the letter:
Dear Fellow Employees,
I'm writing this letter to inform you of an important change that's currently taking place in my life. It's not easy to explain, but I'm going to try. I hope that no matter what your reaction is, you'll take the time to read this letter entirely.
I was born into the wrong body. My physical sex does not match my mental gender. In other words, I'm transsexual. It's something that took me years to understand and accept. I'm in the process of changing my body to match the gender that I am inside: female. This is the only way I'll be comfortable in my body and in my role in society.
I have been coming to terms with this for most of my life, so I don't expect this to be easy for other people to understand. I'm not even certain it is possible for a 'normal' person to understand what I am doing. I was not a 'normal man'. I will never be a 'normal woman'. I am now, and always have been, a transsexual woman. Until sometime last year I always tried to hide this fundamental fact about myself. I'm not hiding it anymore. That is the real change in me.
I'm not a transvestite or cross-dresser. I'm not a gay male. (Not that there is anything wrong with being either of those, but I'm not.) I am in a long-term monogamous relationship and that is not going to change. Being transsexual is not a choice. The only known remedy is to physically change gender. It's an unusual medical condition, but it's more common than most people think. Chances are, you've already met other transsexual people without even knowing it.
For over a year now, I've been living two lives. Here at (company name deleted), I'm known as (male name deleted), but to my friends and almost everywhere else, I'm a woman known as Amy. Clearly, I can't continue to do this forever. Furthermore, my body has changed because of the treatments I'm receiving.
The reason that I'm telling you about this 'transition' now is that I will soon be starting the process of the 'life test' where I will be living full-time as the woman I am. I will begin by legally changing my name. I've reached a point where it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to keep this change personal. After I get my name changed, I intend to live as a woman everywhere and that includes (company name deleted). This may require some adjustments on your part, so I think it's important that you know what to expect.
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM ME?
Overall, you can expect things to remain pretty much the same as they are now, besides the new name and gender. I'll be wearing clothing that is more feminine in nature. I really like working here at (company name deleted), and I'm committed to continue doing a great job and being a part of a great team. I'll try my best to minimize any disruptions caused by my transition on my work and on the team.
For those of you who may be genuinely curious about what I'm doing, I'll make myself available to answer in person or by e-mail any honest questions you may have. I've talked to Jackie, and if you're uncomfortable asking me questions directly, she's agreed to pass them along to me anonymously, and then return my answers to you.
WHAT DO I EXPECT FROM YOU?
You with whom I work are some of the last ones to find out about this. I realize there will be some embarrassment and awkwardness. I'm sorry for that, but I hope this will be an occasion for some of us to think deeply about sex, gender, and sexual preference and what they mean in peoples' lives. I don't expect you to understand or approve of my decision to change gender. However, I expect you to respect and accept this decision. Since I will be legally changing my first name from (male name deleted) to Amy, it's courteous to refer to me by that name. It's also courteous to now refer to me as 'she' rather than 'he'. I won't get upset because of genuine mistakes, as I'm quite aware of how difficult this can be, but I'd appreciate it if you make an effort. Beyond that, there's no need to treat me differently. I'm still the same person, and I hope you'll continue to relate to me like you do now.
(Company name deleted) fully supports my decision to change gender and in doing so, shows its commitment to provide the best work environment for all employees and to embrace diversity in the workplace. In the end, I hope that once you process the information in this letter, you'll come to realize that what I'm doing is really not such a big deal after all.
Sincerely,
Amy/(male name deleted)
Currently listening:South of Heaven
By Slayer
Release date: 25 October, 1990
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