The Venom Club (Blast From the Past Entry)

I don't like the way these pictures came out, but here they are anyway. I didn't mention it in the original entry, but it was pretty damn hot inside that club. I was sweating and my bangs (fake) kept falling in my face. LOL!

I did finally come out to my parents in May of 2003 (a month and change after this entry was originally written). After reading this, you may want to head over here and check out the letter I wrote to my parents, and their reactions. (The entry continues with a summary of my family and I, and ends in July, when it was written.)

This is the last entry in my diary that consisted of separate, numbered pieces of looseleaf paper. What's next, you ask? A few entries of photos and brief summaries of what was going on in my life. In late 2005, I started a blog on MySpace. I'll be pasting in those blog entries here, which were previously only available to a couple dozen people who knew me at the time. Now, without any further ado...

March 28th, 2003

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What a strange night. Tonight I went to a FemmeFever party at the Venom Club, which is a fetish, bondage type of club. This was a "non-b&d" party though, and the doors were closed to all but us t-girls from 6 - 10 PM.

I got ready at Dee's apartment, donning a pink imitation leather jacket and skirt combo with a stretchy white blouse. I followed Dee to the club, and we arrived fashionably late at about 6:30 PM. The place was filled with equipment like stocks and x-crosses.

Back: Andrea, Genifer, and Andi. Front: me and Lilly.

In my opinion, Lilly had the best outfit on, namely a red latex mini-skirt, with metal links along the legs, a black crop top, and shiny black stilletto heels. But Genifer was wearing a corset that seemed to make her waist thinner than my neck!

The funniest/scariest part of the night for me was when I took a photo opportunity with the stocks. Lilly helped me put my head and arms in this thing, and then she was really trying to lock it! Then Heather came over, which made me really nervous, because she had just been whipping this girl, Gina before (with her consent, of course)! I quickly got out of that thing (I guess Lilly couldn't lock it after all), but Heather grabbed me! I was laughing and trying to step off of the stage, but she wouldn't let me go. She said, "I'll just brush this against you, it won't hurt..." I said, "Okay, just for a photo though." She put me back in the stocks, and I felt the thing brush against my skirt. I saw a flash go off. Then Heather was rubbing my ass through the skirt. I don't find Heather attractive at all. Not to be mean or anything, she's just not my type. I yelled out, "Okay, the photo was taken, that's it!" I got out, and everyone was like, "Go, Amy!" LOL!

Oh. My. Gawd.

Andi showed up a bit later and chatted with Dee for quite awhile. I met a bunch of girls I hadn't met before. Heather was busy whipping people (or getting whipped), even some male admirer who was there. Yes, there were three or four male admirers there, but none of them came up to me or stared too much.

Me and Carmen.

All in all, it was a fun party. It was just a little strange to me with all the b&d going on. Carrie told me that a party like this is the "antithesis of Amy." I guess it might be similar to finding an angel in hell? I really do fit the good girl image (sweet, cute, and *almost* innocent), so I liked her little observation.

I had to go to work afterwards (and I ended up being 15 minutes late), so I guess I was lucky that they served no alchohol. It was a bummer though (both the work thing and the no-alchohol thing).

Andi and I.

I've been trying to come out to my parents, without any luck. I wanted to tell them last Sunday, but my brother was downstairs, watching tv with them. Then him and my mother came up to go to bed at the same time! I was so nervous beforehand, pacing back and forth, gathering up my courage... for nothing! Then I saw my mother's work schedule on the refrigerator. It showed her as being off on Tuesday. Since my father is on vacation from work, and my brother will be working, it would've been the perfect time. But, alas... the schedule lied. My father told me she's off on Thursday and Friday though, so now I have two days to work with. I hope.

I had therapy again last Monday, and I wanted to go in girl mode, but with my father being home, I couldn't. It's extremely frustrating being so restricted like this. When I do finally tell my parents, will that restriction be lifted? Will I be able to get changed at home, and use the bathroom to put on my makeup and wig? Or will I still be doomed in using other people for a changing space, or getting ready in my car?