It's funny, looking back at the lipgloss I used to get. It used to be that gloss was mainly for kids, and it was almost impossible to find lipgloss without any color in it. The industry really boomed a couple years after I wrote this, and I believe that now gloss outsells lipstick! Oh yeah, and I never think about kissing a guy anymore, so it was kind of weird for me typing out that last paragraph. Go figure.
February 24th, 2003
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I started the day off with therapy in girl mode. I wore a multi-colored, striped, button-down sweater, and a shortish denim skirt, both of which I had gotten at the thrift store for less than five dollars each. I was also wearing tan pantyhose and my black boots. I ran out of time and had to leave without doing my nails, plus I forgot my hoop earrings.
I was going to go to lunch with Carmen, but she called and said she had to meet her boss, so we would have to put it off until 3:30 PM. I figured an early dinner at 4:30 or 5:00 was better. I did my therapy thing, which was basically me complaining that I didn't want to wait so long to transition. I basically have to go to school (two years?), so I can have a career, so I can get my own place, so I can come come out and transition. That's my five year plan, though I hope to be done sooner than five years.
I stopped home to do my nails and get my earrings, then I called Karen, as I wanted to look at two leather catalogs she has at her house. I got her voicemail. Hmm. Is she out? Cellphone not working? In the shower? I left a message, then started heading towards her house, figuring she would call. I went to get some money from the ATM and hopped on the Long Island Expressway. I got to her house and there was no answer at the door. Hmmm, she must be out, so maybe I'll wait ten minutes in case she's on the way home. After all, it took me about 45 minutes to get to her house. I call one more time, and she answers. She's home! But she didn't answer the phone or the door because she was doing a makeover. I found out later that the customer was very upset that someone was ringing the doorbell and calling the house while she was there, and she might not ever come to Karen's again. What a jerk! Not for nothing, I hate the fact that I may have lost Karen a client, but that client sounds pretty neurotic to me. How was I supposed to know she was home the entire time with a customer? So anyway, I'll have to go back another day to see those catalogs. Hey, sexy leather skirts, pants, tops, etc... for wholesale prices? $55 for an item rather than $150? Sounds good to me!
I drove back to my area and went to Macy's for a resupply of Clinique Facial Powder and Clinique Concealer. I have to use a lot of that stuff, unfortunately. I then went to Genovese to get some lipgloss (Naturistics strawberry flavor, which is my favorite for wearing at work, since there's almost no color, but I get that nice glossy look), black pantyhose (I only have the tan or nude kind), and contact lens solution. As I got on the line for the cashier, I saw that the woman working there was one I sort of knew. Since I shop at Genovese often, usually to buy makeup, and often wearing makeup myself, this cashier had come to recognize me. In fact, one day we got into a friendly conversation about makeup and why I like to wear it, while she's sick of it, etc. Anyway, while I was still on line, my cellphone rings. It's Vanessa! Oh, what a spontaneous quandary. How do I sound like a man on the phone, and and a woman in public, at the same time? I quickly told her I'd call her back in five minutes, and then I'm next. I put my items on the counter and, after getting no recognition from the cashier, I said, "Do you recognize me?" She looked at me for a few seconds, and then her face brightened. She said, "Yes! Now I do, but not until you said that?" She has never seen me in full girl mode. She spied the picture of Vanessa and I from the Long Island Pride Winter Ball, and asked to look at it. She said that I do my makeup very well. It was a very positive experience. It made my day. :)
I called Vanessa back and headed to Carmen's. We decided to go to Meson Ole, one of my favorite restaurants, and of the Spanish-Mexican variety. All the waiters and waitresses there are Mexican, and wear Mexican attire and hats. For the most part, they speak very little English. I ordered a non-alcoholic banana daiquiri and Carmen ordered sangria. We shared a quesadilla with chicken, cheese, and Spanish sausage. For the main course, Carmen had a gigantic "Ole Wrap," and I ordered my usual "Combination Number Five," which consists of a beef taco, chicken burrito, and cheese enchilada. I ordered helado del frito for dessert, which translates into fried ice cream, but I couldn't finish it.
I guess I was passing pretty well, since not only did I fail to get any strange looks, but one of the waiters started flirting with me big time! He was walking forward, with his head facing backward, staring and smiling at me. I thought he was going to walk into something. Ha ha! Then Carmen says she's going to give him a dirty look. Puh-leeze! You are not my lover or anything! Afterwards, we drove back to Carmen's place, and Amy turned into a pumpkin. In other words, I went back to guy mode. Sigh... must I? Okayyy...
As far as the coming weekend, Cecile has said she's coming to our little Honey's get-together, but probably without Michelle. Cecile is Michelle's girlfriend, and she's also a genetic girl. Michelle might be with family that night. Also, Vanessa will be joining us! Yay! A gaggle of tg girls and two genetic girls. As Jim Carrey said in The Mask, "Let's rock this joint!"
I've received emails from several men (one was a crossdresser) wanting to get together with me, some a little more subtle than others. Starting last week, I started getting letters from a "J.D.," who has since told me to call him Jake. He lives in Huntington and wants to meet me "for a drink or a cup of coffee," he says. He keeps complimenting me, not only on my looks, but my intelligence, courage, and the fact that I've set very good goals for myself on transitioning. I sent him an email last Friday, explaining to him how he shouldn't just expect me to jump in bed with him, as it may not happen right away, or ever. I pretty much expected him to be like all the other guys that wrote to me. But he says he wants to be friends first and get to know each other better. So now my interest is piqued. I wonder what it would be like to kiss a man, and to be held like a woman would? It's pretty exciting to think about. I feel like I'm a teenage girl wondering about her first kiss. Unfortunately, I don't even know what he looks like. He said he doesn't usually send pictures out on the internet, unless he knows somebody very well, because he fears his picture being used by people for other purposes. It sounds like a pretty strange reason, but I guess time will tell, because I'm thinking of meeting him next month!
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